Friday, October 11th, 2013
around 7:30pm our lives changed. We had started watching a movie as a
family and had turned on the oven to preheat, we were going to have
some frozen pizzas for dinner. Marty, my husband, was on the couch
with our youngest and felt a discomfort in his right shoulder, so he
decided to readjust his position. The next thing I knew, he was
kneeling on the floor, gasping for air. After a few minutes of
calming him down and trying to assess what was the cause of this and
what “this” was, we all dressed and climbed into the car for a
trip to the emergency room. I knew some of what was going on was a
panic attack, which was in response to the not being able to breathe.
OK, I get that part, but why was he having trouble breathing? Years
earlier, around 12-15, Marty had a “BLEB” (bubble/blister of lung
tissue, like a weak spot on a balloon or inner tube) pop on his lung
that caused a pain similar to pulled muscle, just more intense. My
first assumption this night was that was the case again, just the
pain was making it difficult to breathe.
The car ride was difficult for him, the
pain increased with the position in the car and vibrations of the
road. We got to the Emergency room and they sprang to attention
because he was having chest pain. We knew it was not heart related
but they have to check that out first because of the possible
complications. Again, fine let's go. So, they take him back and then
ask me to fill out a slip of paper that just asks for his name and
age. I sit with the kids in the waiting room and start trying to
decide what to do with them. I made a call and got a church member to
come get them. Got a chance to go back talk to Marty for a minute,
tell him what the plans are for the kids and bring them back to see
him for a minute before sending off.
All the immediate heart tests are
negative and the staff have calmed down. Now we wait for a chest
x-ray. The Doctor thinks he can go to x-ray, he seems healthy
enough..... he's been given some pain killers and aspirin as well
they had him on oxygen. Soon after getting back from x-ray the Doctor
comes in to tell us, the lung is partially collapsed and it will
require a chest tube to be inserted. He will also get an admission to
the hospital as long as the chest tube is in. The chest tube will
stay in maybe a day or 2 for the lung to heal up, the lung Surgeon
will tell us more the next day. The process of getting information
and then waiting for it to happen is frustrating. They give you the
information, then take 1-2 hours to do the action. I got to sit/
stand in the room and watch the whole procedure, interesting and I'm
not squeamish when it comes to other peoples blood, only my own. We
then sit around waiting for another 1-2 hours before they come to
take him to a room. We live only 10 minutes from the hospital, we
entered the Emergency room before 8pm, yet it was going on 2am before
he was settled in a room for the night.
I finally leave him settled in for the
night and go pick up and kids. I then need to stop and get gas, find
a drive thru for myself and get the boys home and to bed. Up the next
morning and packing things for Marty, he's texting me a list and
adding more! I get things loaded up and we're off to see him. He
already has a visitor, another church member that I had called the
night before, and seems to be doing well. They had taken him down for
a CT scan of the chest and lungs, the lung Surgeon is supposed to be
in later to talk. The boys take off with a church member to hang out
with a friend and we continue to entertain visitors for church while
waiting for the Surgeon.
Early afternoon, the Surgeon comes in.
Yes, it's a BLEB that has popped and caused the hole in the lung.
Bad news, the CT shows more that could cause more damage and he wants
to do surgery to remove them. So, we now schedule surgery for Monday
morning. They are going to remove these BLEBS and rough up the
surface of the lung to make it stick better to the chest wall, this
will help keep air out while it all heals. Think of 2 pieces of bread
and spreading jelly on them, now stick them together so an air pocket
can't form between them from the little holes in the bread. A new
chest tube will be placed as well. After surgery he will be in ICU
for at-least 1 day. Then it will be another 3-5 days in the hospital.
Wait, um did my world just stop
spinning??? Yeap, life was just turned upside down. Marty, my rock,
my dear husband who is almost always by my side is going to have a
major surgery and be in the hospital.
No time to take that all in, at-least
no time to let it slow me down. You see, I'm the one everyone depends
on. I now need to go make the phone calls while Marty gets some rest.
I have to find some lunch, it's almost 2:30 and the cafeteria closes
for the day at 2:30. I grab a quick bite, no phone signal so can't
make calls yet, so I rush myself. Then outside to call my mom, his
mom and his sister. Give the church secretary a call so she can pass
the word around there.
Back in to check on him and think
about what to do with the kids. What is the polite amount of time to
leave your kids with friends without over stepping? What's the best
way to ask if someone will help by taking them for a few hours? Are
they really willing to keep them longer or are they just saying it to
be nice and should I know that? On top of that, I keep thinking of
how strong I need to show I am for the kids. If I freak out, the kids
will not handle this as well, they need a strong parent to feel safe
and protected. I also am the person that never lets anyone see me
break. (More on that in a different post!)
I go pick up and kids and grab some
dinner. We take it back to the hospital room to have dinner as a
family. We all watch some TV with Dad, like most nights, then head
for home around 9pm. The next morning, the boys get a ride to church
and I am to go have church with Marty, we're going to watch a sermon
online. Andy forgets his bag of supplies, the boys are going to spend
the afternoon with another church friend, so I now have to run by the
church. Of course most folks who see me want to know how things are
and whats going on, I talk for a few and get going to the hospital.
We have a calm day and I again head out to get the kids and dinner,
only to find they are still out eating a late lunch with friends and
we make arrangements for someone else to drop them off at the
hospital later. So I grab dinner for just the 2 of us and spend some
more time alone with my husband. I haven't had this much time alone
with him in years! The kids arrive via church visitors and again we
leave around 9pm.
Monday morning arrives early, we are
up and at the hospital by 6:15am. Our deacon and youth/children's
pastor arrive in time visit and pray before we all to head down to
pre-op. The boys and deacon to the waiting room, pastor and I with
Marty. Short wait time, all the pre-op questions and last check in
with the surgeon, it's now time for a last prayer before he goes into
the Operating room. Now we head back out to join the rest in the
waiting room. We all head down and get some breakfast. Then back to
the waiting room. The surgery takes about 2 hours and the Surgeon
comes out afterwards to give me a short consult. “It's done, he's
doing good. They've got him in recovery and soon he'll be moved to
ICU. They'll let you know when you can see him.” And that's about
it. This Surgeon is a man of few words, really!
The boys and I were supposed to go to
a Pumpkin farm with friends from church but it's rainy and cold out.
I call them, the kids can just stay in and play together for the day.
So I send the boys off with the pastor, he'll drop them off, and
continue to wait for Marty to get out of surgery with our deacon.
BTW, our deacon is great and we love him like an uncle. He also
co-teaches the boys Sunday School class, so they know him well too!
While the surgery takes about 2 hours,
the recovery and moving to the ICU, took another 2 hours! I send our
deacon off after we finally get to see Marty. I then go grab lunch
and make the phone calls. Marty's parents and sister are going to fly
down the next day and stay through Friday. They are going to stay in
a hotel, so I don't have to worry about the house being clean. I
still have to make all the update calls to them and the rest. I also
need to find out what time to go get the kids and what/where everyone
was eating for dinner. “Some laundry needs to be done,” that
thought flashes through my head as I am dialing the phone, along with
the rest of the list that never seems to end.
Tuesday dawns and we again head for
the hospital. Today we have brought along things to do because we are
planning on staying all day, no going to visit friends. Besides,
family is coming. It's a long day, they move Marty out of ICU to a
regular room in the late morning, his family sends text messages to
let us know they have landed and are dealing with getting a rental
car, going to check in to the hotel and grab some food before coming
to the hospital. They don't get there until almost 4pm. We all visit
for the next 2 hours. They are tired and hungry so they head off
before valet parking closes at 6pm. I run out and grab some dinner
for us, then the boys and I go home for the night. Wednesday brings
more of the same except the family take the boys down for a late
breakfast, then they go back to the hotel for lunch and a nap. The
Surgeon comes in and removes the chest tube. Marty's level of
discomfort seems to be related to the pressure of the tube stuck in
his side??? I guess that might be uncomfortable! His family gets back
later as the boys and I are heading out for dinner at church.
Thursday brings a new day. Marty has
been trying to prove he's well enough for a discharge. See, he has
been on the Pastor search committee at church and there is a special
meeting that Thursday evening in regards to that search. Once Marty's
family arrives and the talk turns to this subject, it begins to spark
disagreement. Comments are made that are not polite, some tears are
shed and his family steps out for a moment. I make plans to leave, I
don't want to continue this and cause any more issues. They step back
in and ask to take the boys out for lunch and shopping. Off they all
go. The conversation continues, just now through the phone and text
messaging between Marty and his family.
Marty also does get the discharge
order. But can't seem to find a supplier to get the walker to the
hospital. We finally agree to have it delivered to the house and get
out!! Drop off the prescriptions on the way home. Get him settled and
the walker arrives! Then off to pick up the medications, pain level
is high from the travel home. I'm back home in a flash with the
medications, he is relaxed. The boys will be returned around 5:30pm,
we need to leave around 6pm for the meeting. We're cutting it close
but we make it. It's a great evening and Marty is happy.
That night we manage to get him up the
stairs to the bedroom. After packing in the pillows around him to
make him comfortable, I'm left with a limited space to sleep. Neither
of us gets much rest. The next morning I get him settled downstairs
and he tells me that his family is coming for brunch, he told them I
would cook it! I panic for a minute and then start planning.
Pancakes- got enough supplies, little bite-size sausages- got enough
those. The the boys decide they want waffles! Ok, still can do. So,
got the brunch stated and had a great time. They had a plane to catch
so, off they went.
Marty needed a nap, he had decided
that he was not going upstairs anymore, so the couch was made comfy
for him. I took the boys and went to the pumpkin patch, we did the
trip in under 2 hours since I didn't want to leave Marty alone too
long. Made dinner that night and started our new lives of Marty's
recovery. It was slow going, and he good days and bad. We never seem
to leave the house except to take him to a doctor's appointment or
church.
Andy had an appointment 2 weeks later
at Scottish Rite, it didn't go as planned. It was with Neurosurgery,
a Doctor I had never met before but the previous Dr. had left the
practice and I didn't care for him anyway. This doctor decided to
“tap” Andy's shunt, stick a needle in the reservoir for drawing
cultures or checking pressure levels. He didn't like the pressure
level, so he wanted us to go to the hospital and get further
evaluation and testing done. That is another story, but we ended up
staying in the hospital for 2 nights that we didn't need to! In the
mean time, I got Ryan doing the cooking and feeding of his dad. Folks
from church were great and offered to take Ryan, but he was needed to
take care of Marty who couldn't stand long enough to cook, yet.
So we got to talking about how between
Marty's hospital bills and now Andy's, our out-of-pocket maximums
would now be met and that hernia that he had been dealing with for
the last couple of years should be addressed. He was already on short
term disability and this way he wouldn't have another stretch of
missed work. So we talked with the lung surgeon and got the go ahead
from him. Met the general surgeon and scheduled the surgery, 2 weeks
after Andy's hospital stay. It was supposed to be a spinal block with
a little sleep juice, no full anesthesia, and day surgery. Ended up
with the spinal taking longer to wear off and pain that was difficult
to control that first night, so he spent the night.
So now I have had one of my guys in
the hospital every other Friday night over the last 4 weeks. I'm
ready for a break at this point. We make it through the next 3 weeks
and break the streak. Marty is now focused on his hernia recovery and
the lung recovery is almost complete. In the mean time, the short
term disability insurance has only been covering about ½ of his
normal wages since we have to pay his employer for our portion of the
health insurance. Now the insurance company has decided that Marty
should be recovered enough to return to work, unless he has the
Surgeon fill out a form. We take it to the Surgeon, he fills it out,
we fax it in. Then we wait. About 1 week goes by and we receive a
check with a note, “It has been calculated that you should be able
to return to work on Dec 20th. This is the wages for the
Dates of November 28th through December 19th.
Your case has now been closed and should your situation change,
please contact us.” That's it! BTW, the form the Doc filled out,
“Estimate date return to work- January 15th.” The
letter stating the same came 2 days later with an added line that
they would require addition statements from a Doctor if we disagree
with their decision. “A note from a Doctor would not be enough
proof.” So starts the phone calls, they keep asking for more notes
from the doctor's office, they keep sending it to them. So far, I
guess the doctor didn't write enough notes to satisfy them. We even
got copies of all the records and faxed them in ourselves since they
said they didn't get them all. Since faxing in the records, we have
heard nothing.
 |
| Marty's side a week after the lung surgery. |
The other hat that dropped during this
whole adventure, Marty's employer informed him that he needed to get
his Texas nursing license. Now, we knew that it was needed and
dropped the ball on that before all this happened. At the same time,
he is completely legal to work under his North Carolina license which
is still good until October of 2014. So we start working on it, they
then make it clear he can not return to work until he receives the
license. That is a problem. The Texas board of nursing can be very
slow at issuing the licenses. We sent the paperwork and the fee in
November. They cashed the check and sent an email, they had changed
the application and he needed to fill out the new one and mail it in.
BTW the old form had the wrong fee, we had over paid by $20 but they
have a no refund policy! He does that, and nothing. As time gets
closer to him returning to work, he sends an email back and gets an
automated response, “out of office until January 6th.”
Because of the disability insurance no
longer paying, we push up the Doctors appointment and ask for a
release to work. He gets a release back to work for January 7th,
just 2 months after having the hernia repair and 3 months after
having lung surgery. So he takes the release and copies of the email
into work on Fri before the 7th, “Anything else I can
do, is this enough proof that the Texas license is coming?”
Everything looks good and it's all accepted. He meets with his direct
supervisor and plan his schedule. Then Monday the 6th
arrives with a phone call, “We've changed our mind. You need the
full license. You can not return to work.” So, they have changed
their mind. Then on Tuesday, they call and tell him that they have
decided to give his position away, but they will find a position for
him when he returns. Ok, still a chance to return to work, but maybe
time to start looking for a new job. Maybe one that respects their
employees and understands when health problems arise out of the blue?
The latest, we received a certified
letter from them. “Since you did not get your Texas license, we are
going to accept that as your resignation. We are terminating your
employment as of January 20th, 2014 and any benefits you
have, i.e. health insurance, will end January 31st, 2014.
You'll be receiving COBRA information in the mail at a later date.”
Again, UMMM WHAT???? So, now because the nursing board hasn't issued
the license, he quit? Yet, “We are terminating....” says, they
decided. While we already got the idea that he needed to look for
another job, we thought we still had a chance if the license came
through before another job did.
Now it is late January and the bills
are piling up. I have started to ask others for help.... big stretch
for me. We are surviving, but I have applied and are now receiving
food stamps to help. Not sure where we stand on receiving Medicaid
yet, but it's also been applied for. Was told that are car (only 1
car for the family) is worth too much money to qualify for the
“traditional” assistance funds. There are some hoops I go jump
through to fight that, but is it worth it? Marty has been filling out
applications everywhere, and had 1 interview and couple of phone
calls, another interview is scheduled for next week. We'll see how it
all works out.
